


Seeing Red

by CarlyCheers22



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Bullying, F/M, mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5856919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarlyCheers22/pseuds/CarlyCheers22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren Hastings was your average 14 year old girl. Well, not really. So what if her sister Spencer was her parents straight A student and Athlete. Then there's me Lauren. A little chubby, not so smart, an alright athlete. In other words, nothing compared to her. That wouldn't change anything, right? Wrong. Living in someones shadows and constantly being compared to them wasn't exactly a luxury. Bullies ontop of it, puts you in quite a dark state. What she needs is a savior. Will she find it before it's too late?. Why does everything always lead back to Radley?</p>
<p>Ouch,<br/>Nothing hurts more than..nothing<br/>I'm known <br/>it all feels the same now that it's different<br/>Just once..<br/>It's all it takes to takeaway..<br/>The life of something you hate,<br/>Red are my hands,<br/>Red is your fate,<br/>Red is the colour...<br/>You'll Taste...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

(Hey guys this my first ever PPL Fanfiction and well I hope you will like it, I kind of got the idea after watching the show a lot recently and well anyway  yes !Spencer still has an older sister Melissa but she also has  a younger sister called Lauren and they also have a dog as I know they don't in the show. This story should be kind of explanatory but if you're not sure then please PM me and I can fill you in a bit better anyhow I'll let you read it for yourselves and pretty please review and like if you do anyway... enjoy) 

 

"Hey Lolly mom sent me up to get you" Spencer my older sister buy. 2 years says as she walks into my room.  
" okay I'll be down in a second" I say as I finish putting the finishing touches to my hair.  
"Okay, so... Yeah see you down stairs"my sister says as she checks herself out in my mirror flicking her long dark hair as she walks out of my room and I hear her foot steps heading back down stairs.  
I love my sister but she is the perfect one out of us I mean she is pretty, she's perfect just like Alison D, but me on the other hand I'm not as pretty and I'm nothing like Ali , I prefer to stay away from Ali and her posse.  
I take once last glance at my hair happy that I put a small green bow which compliments my dark hair and hazel eyes. I open my wardrobe and grab my favourite stripy jumper and denim skirt.  
Once I got changed I rushed down stairs knowing Mom would kill me if we were late.  
" Morning Mom.." I say brightly taking a seat at the table.  
" morning sweetheart" mom says placing her hand over the mouth piece of the phone "hi yes I am due in court in an hour" Mom says placing my cereal in front of me, I roll my eyes before I dig in.  
" Spencer" mom says gesturing to the empty dog bowls on the floor. My sister rolls her eyes as she got up from the table pulling silly faces behind moms back whilst she was still on the phone and I chuckle nearly choking on my cereal.  
We are soon out the door me and Spencer get into moms car and she drives us to school.  
Once at school mom bid us both a goodbye and head off to work. Spencer rushes over to her little gang whilst I walk over to the entrance and walk in to school by myself like I always do. I walk glumly up the steps and through the front door squeezing my way through students who clearly don't care that I am trying to get by as they push and shove me out the way. I walk along the corridor and over to my locker, I put in my code and try to open my locker but as always I have great difficulty and yet one seems to notice me struggling to get it open.   
Meanwhile Alison Dilaurentis struts down corridor like its some kind of run way with her army of followers following closely behind . I unfortunately happen to pull extremely hard on my locker and to my surprise and dismay it slams open making a huge bag and a slimy content pours all over me covering me front head to toe in this sticky substance and I swear the entire sea of students are looking at me and pointing as they laugh with friends.  
" ugh gross" Alison says stopping right in front me as, she looks me over with complete disgust on her face " I can't believe this LOSER is your sister spence, clearly the clever Hasting genes skipped this one" Ali chuckles taking one last glance at me before she walked off with my sister following behind.  
I just don't get it I am her baby sister her own flesh and blood and yet she wouldn't stick up for me, that really hurt.  
I looked round the room at everyone and my eyes met Mona Vanderwaal's round hazel eyes that looked over at me with concern, I looked away and Eventually the sea of students dispersed and I started picking my soggy books up off the floor with myself still overhead in this sticky goo.  
" need some help with that?" Mona offered   
" no, I got it thanks" I pick up the last book and shut my locker " excuse me I got to use the restroom" I mumble and rushed off to the ladies restroom.  
I stood at the sink finally seeing my appearance for the first time and it is then that I let the tears fall as I start to clean myself up the best I can with what I have.  
" you know...she'll get what's coming to her" Mona says making me jump slightly not realising how much she saw of me breaking down?  
" what do you mean? Ali didn't do this" I say frowning.  
" oh you poor naive fool, Alison did this to you and your sister stood and watched it all" Mona whispered.  
" she doesn't have a choice I understand and I know she would stick up for me if she could" I say back trying hold back the tears .  
" yeah you keep telling yourself that sweetie" Mona smirked and turns to leave " remember she will get what she deserves" Mona said finally ,leaving the restroom.


	2. Chapter 2

"Lauren, get ready for school" I hear Mom call up the stairs School that was the Word I now dreaded the most knowing that "she would be there" and she would haunt my dreams so nowhere was safe from the living nightmare I lived Monday-Friday .I lay in bed staring at the ceiling dreading school. Ever since I started at Rosewood high school Ali took a disliking to me because I am a most of the time a straight A student and I did enjoy learning just like my sisters so, I didn't get it I mean she never picked on them so...why me?. She started calling me just names at first which wasn't too bad I could tune them out but now Ali had stepped it up a level by physically pushing me and tripping me up.

"Lauren,are you up yet?" I heard Mom call again bringing me out of my day dream.

groaning I unwillingly got up throwing the covers back and walked into my bathroom heading directly for the shower. Once in the shower wash my hair and let the warm water was over me and I close my eyes.  
I finally get out of the shower I wrap my hair in a towel and brushed my teeth.

I changed into a pleated tartan skirt and a white shirt with a black jumper over the top and flat black shoes and I choose to wear black knee-high socks. Once I was dressed I took off my towel and dried my hair brushing my long dark brown hair which is straight but with a slight wave to it which guess I'm got from Mom or maybe dad I don't know , I quickly glance at myself in the mirror.

Sighing at my appearance "I look like such a geek, no wonder they all hate me" I whispered to myself. A few tears slipped my cheeks but I quickly brushed them away.  
I rushed down stairs and into the open planned kitchen. I open the cupboards settling for Lucky charm cereal,   
Once I was done with my cereal I put the bowl in the dishwasher when Mom walked in the kitchen with her hair in rollers.  
" ready to go? Where's your sister?" Mom asks putting her ear rings in " I don't know her room I guess" I shrug.  
We left for school where Mom dropped us off and headed to work.

 

One lesson I think to myself as I walk down the school hall, one lesson until the end of the day. If I can avoid Alison , my sister, Emily, Aria and Hanna for one more lesson then I won't have to talk to her at all at school today. I pray to myself that I can go through the rest of the day without seeing them; however my prayers aren't answered as I feel myself get slammed into the side of the lockers. I look up to see myself surrounded by Alison and to my dismay Noel Khan . Alison Is holding me up against the locker with a sinister look on her face,

"Well, look who it is little loser Lolly on her way to lesson, she wouldn't want to be late now would she that would ruin her perfect little reputation"

"Just let me go" I say as I try to get out her grip only to be pushed back into the locker hard

"No, you think you're so amazing don't you?" 

"Nope, I think that you need to let me go"

"You do don't you, well let me tell you something you are nothing you are a worthless fat, idiotic, ugly, loser who will never amount to anything ever!" She says as she lets me go and I slide down to the floor and her gang walk of yelling names at me as they go.  
" your parents  might be the best lawyers in town but you think they would tell 'you' their own child she needs to lose weight and now I think of it why can't they just sue the diet company? After all it obviously isn't working just look at you short and dumpy still" Alison said glaring at me with a smirk upon her face.  
" totally.. I mean have you seen her thighs? I see her and her sisters and I am like how are they related?" Noel said laughing as they rounded the corner.  
The people that curled round to see Alison's  attack me were now dwindling away and that's when I could see Spencer  standing with her friends and all I could see in her eyes was pity and sadness.   
I got up wiped away the tears that slipped down my cheeks with the back of my hand and closed my locker and walked down the hall passing Spencer where our eyes met once more before I looked away feeling the hurt after knowing my sister saw the whole thing and did absolutely nothing to stop it.  
(2 hours later)

I sit in my bedroom with music blaring around the room, my vision in cloudy because of the tears streaming like rain down a window over my cheeks. Their words keep coming back to me floating round my head almost like they are here with me yelling at me again. I fall back on my bed but immediately regret it when my back starts to scream in pain because of the bruises Ali  had caused when she slammed me against the lockers. I can't see but I imagine it is bruised. I'm relived it's Friday thought because it means possibly no Alison for at least two days. I don't have any friends anymore not after Alison decided to target me no one will go against her so my friends just drifted away when it first started, some even joined in. Now I only have one friend left and she doesn't even go to my school, her names Beth she has blonde hair and hazel eyes she is a very kind she doesn't judge or discriminate she's kind to everyone and I can always go to her with anything.

I listen to music rub my injured back and cry for almost 5 minutes before I hear the front door open and I immediately get up and try to dry my eyes. I can't let my Mom or dad  see my crying they will know something's up I don't know if they suspect something's wrong anyway but if they do they have no proof so they  won't say anything  they never gointo an argument without proof. I turn off the music and hear more than one voice, Great Spencer's  home too and she's brought the whole team home she does that sometimes I mean they drive each over crazy but their quite close I hear Mom calling me so I take one more look in the pink wooden mirror with pictures of my ex friends on and then walk out my room and into the living room where I see mom, dad, Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Emily, not only do I have to convince a bunch of my sisters friends , I have to convince mom and dad too. Oh well I have to try I think as I walk closer towards them.

"Hey" I say putting on a fake smile

"Hey, you have a good day?" Mom asks as she looks up at me and smiles

"Yeah, the best" I say not so convincingly as I glance at Spencer who looks away this time.

Mom looks up at me with an I know something's wrong so what happened? face on and I decide the best way to get her to drop it would be to talk about absolutely anything.

"So how was your day Mom?...dad?" I ask as I look at Mom then dad for an answer.

"Oh you know the usual" She says.

"Work and more work your mother means" Dad chimes in

"ugh tell me about it, don't become a lawyer unless you want tons of paperwork" Mom says take a sip of wine after a hard day.  
" we won't Mrs Hastings" Aria said smiling  

"Great, well I'm gonna go back to my room I have more homework than should be legal"

"Are you sure?" My mom asks

"Yeah, I'm sure" I say turning around to walk back to my room

"What about dinner? And don't forget you have dance later too"She says to me before I turn to leave.

"I'm not hungry" I say before I walk briskly to my room closed the door and then lean onto it sinking down to the floor and crying hoping that the music will cover up the sound of me crying.

the voices they won't go away, I think to myself as I lean my head against the door...


	3. Chapter 3

"Get up, Lolly get up" Is what I hear as I wake up. I open my eyes and see my Mum stood over me

"What time is it?" I ask groaning whilst still laying down

"Eight"mom in forms me.

"It's Saturday"I groan 

"I know but I have to be at the office in a hour to finish paper work and I don't want to find out I've left any bit of detail behind"

"Whatever....I'll be fine here with Spencer...or I could stay alone?" I say not wanting to go to moms work today.

"Nice try, get up and ready in half an hour"mom says raising an eye brow.  
"why can't Spencer look after me?" I ask before she leaves my room.  
" because your sister has plenty of work to do and has other things to do and she won't be home until late tonight she informed me this morning" mom shrugs.  
"What about dad?"I say sounding a tad desperate.  
'Lolly I don't have time for this..your father has already left he has an important meeting at the country club, now I want you up in the next 15 minutes" mom says raising her eyebrow.  
I hear her leave the room and I sit up in the bed, I groan and decide to just suck it up. I walk over to the wardrobe and pull out some skinny jeans and a baggy t shirt and my jacket. I get changed quickly spray some perfume on me grab my my bag shove my little bit of make up, hair spray and other hair pieces ,my phone, my iPod, homework and my purse into it so that I have something to do when I'm forced to sit around whilst I wait for mom to finish work.

I walk out my room and into the living room to see that my Mom  already waiting for me with her hair still in curlers whilst I just leave my long dark hair down.

"Come on, let's go" mom says grabbing her car keys.

"But I'm hungry" I whine

"We'll get something on the way, let's go!" Mom snaps at me and I roll my eyes and grumble " fine whatever" 

(Half an hour later )

 

I'm sat in moms office doing my advance Chemistry home work whilst Mom sat at her desk rifling through a mountain of paper work which is great just great we won't be leaving here anytime soon. I glance at Mom who was read and signing sheet after sheet of paper work whilst I am listening to lady gaga's 'just dance'.   
Mom taps me on the shoulder and I pull out a ear phone " I just need to pop out a minute, okay" I nodded " okay" I say giving a small smile.

Mom had just walked out of her office when I feel my phone vibrate in my bag; I unlock it and see it's from an unknown number.

Hey fatty just a memo to remind you that your an Ugly chubby freak!

That's all it says, I let a sob out my throat how'd they get my number I feel tears starting to form in my eyes I quickly wipe them away.

"Hey, do you know where your mum is?" I look up to see Ava moms secretary stood there.

"Umm she said she was just sorting something out" I say weakly

"everything alright Lolly?" She asks sitting next to me, I quite like Ava she has always been nice to me more than my parents sometimes so I wasn't surprise when she sat next to me and looked at me with a concerned look upon her pretty face.

"Yeah, fine I gotta go to the restroom sorry" I say getting up and almost running and in to the lady's room.

I look in the mirror and see that my face was red and tears were running down my face I hope Ava didn't see or she will be telling Mom, I look down at my phone and see I have another message and I hesitate wether I should open it.

Hanging out with mommy dearest are we Lolly ? Maybe I shouldn't call you lolly because there is nothing sweet about you! How about loser lolly instead? Kisses A

My breath gets stuck in my throat and I feel tears streaming down my face.

Veronica Prov~

I walk towards my office to see Ava my assistant waiting for me.

"Veronica?" I hear Ava say.

" is everything alright?" I ask after seeing the worried look on her face.

"I just wanted to tell you that Lolly just ran off nearly in tears"

"What why?" I ask panicking

"I don't know I walked over to ask if she knew where you were and she was looking at her phone crying" She says looking concerned

"Do you know where she went?"

"She said the restroom"

"Okay, I'll be back in the minute" I say walking away

I knock on the restroom door

"Lauren sweetie are you in there ?" I call out

I don't hear anything but then the door unlocks and she chucks herself at me I hold her close stroking her hair slowly for a while and then I pull away put my hand under her chin and force her to look at me.

"What's wrong?"

( I know in the last bit Veronica Hastings in out of character by actually hugging her daughter and calling her sweetie but in this story she has a softish side. Oh also thank you for the votes on is story and thanks also for reading this story so far! You guys are the best!!!)


	4. Chapter 4

"What's wrong?" Says Mom holding my chin.

I panic and my brain goes into overload, I can't tell her I'll just make it up.

"They won't go away!" I say trying to tare away from her but she keeps a hold of my wrist

"Who lolly?" She asks concerned

"Alison and her stupid gang! That's who" I blurt out with tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Why? what are they doing?" She asks a rage burning in her eyes

"Just calling me stuff and trying to turn my friends away from me" I say wiping tears from my face, I try to tone it all down a but if she knew they had turned my friends against me long ago and that they were doing more than just call me names then she would do something stupid.

"Don't listen to them, you're an amazing person and nothing is better than being your amazing self!" She says nearly making me choke on my salty tears.

"Thanks" I say still wiping away tears

"Is that all, no one else?" She asks

"Yep only them" I say lying through my teeth, it's everyone. They all hate me and the sad thing is I hate me to, I guess what they say is true if someone says you're ugly enough you'll start to believe them.

Maybe they're right I'm ugly, fat and just worthless and I'm going to change that. I'm going to lose weight I'll have to count calories and I'll have to start to wear make up and dress more hipster. I'm however dragged from this little world in my head when I hear my mum

"Don't lie to me Lauren " She says firmly.

"I'm not look can we just leave it"

"No! We can't just leave it"

"Why?" I ask hoping she would just let it go

"Because I care too much and I am your mother!" She snaps making taking me back.

"Look it's only a few people they'll get bored" I say knowing that they won't.

"Okay, but look we're not finished talking about this!" She says not letting up

"Okay" I say even though I have no plans to talk later.

(2 hours later)

We finally arrive home and I head straight into my bedroom whilst mom starts to prepare dinner  "dinner is in half an hour okay lolly?" I nod "  are we eating alone?" I ask standing at the first step  " your father is on his way home and Spencer is at Aria's but will be home for dinner shortly" I nod and rushed upstairs and climbed onto my bed dreading the thought of having dinner. I decide to take my mind off it all by covering my queen size bed in text books, pens, note books, my lap top and decide to start doing my advanced Spanish homework knowing it wouldn't take me long.  
I heard the front door open and close which meant either dad or Spencer was home but I wasn't really bothered I was busy with my work.

Down stairs   
Spencer walked through the front door " hi I'm home" she called out " in here Spencer" Veronica called out from the kitchen.  
" hi mom" Spencer said walking into the kitchen.  
" hey Spencer, have a good day?" Veronica said as she chopped away on a carrot  before adding it to the salad bowl.  
" yeah it was alright I guess, how was yours? How was it with lolly coming with you to work today?" Spencer asked reaching over picking up a slice of carrot and munched on it.  
" she wasn't too happy but things went okay but, I do have one question to ask and I need you to tell me the truth" Veronica stopped the chopping and faced Spencer.  
" sure what is it? Is lolly okay? Dad?" Veronica sighed.  
" dad is fine but, is everything alright at school with lolly?" Veronica watched Spencer tense up slightly before she answered.  
" I guess so....why?" Veronica sighed.  
" Spencer I asked you to tell me the truth" Spencer frowned " I did I am sure lolly is fine...why what has she said?" Spencer seemed shocked but deep down she secretly knew everything was far from fine for lolly.   
" apparently Alison has been calling her names" Veronica raised he eyebrow at Spencer.  
" really mom! You know what Alison is like sometimes, you've seen it yourself" Spencer shrugged.  
" okay I will leave it for now" Veronica pulled the chicken fillets out of the oven.  
" can you tell your sister dinner is ready" Veronica called out to Spencer before she rushed up stairs.

I'm buried deep into my Russian literature essay when I look up in the mirror and see Spencer walking into my room.

"Hey" She says softly walking over to me.

"Hey" I say not wanting to seem rude

"How was today? I heard about it from mom " She says sitting down next to me I guess she's either feeling sorry for me being alone or mom has said something which is just great but. Either way I don't care.

" it was alright I guess...actually Spence" I whisper 

"Yes?" She says looking up from her phone

"You know about weight and nutrition stuff ?" 

"Yeah that's right, why?" She says smiling

"Just out of curiosty, how many calories a day should a person my age have?"

"Why?" She asks

"Just one of my questions for my science home work that's all and my friend wanted to know as well for personal reasons I guess " I lie and I am shocked at how easily it rolls off my tongue

"Okkkkay, well anyway I'd say about 1600-2000 cals a day"

"Thank you" I say whilst in my head dividing 1600 into 800 and then halfing that again. If I'm going to lose weight then I want to do it fast and the only way to do that is if I hurry up with the weight loss.

"Just tell your 'friend' to be careful, eating disorders are easy to form and hard to recover from and do Not eat less than 1600" She says

"I'll be sure to mention it" I say smiling at Spencer who goes back to her phone.

"oh I forgot mom said dinner is ready" my sister says jumping off the bed.

" okay I'll be down in the minute" Spencer nods and walks out of my room.

I close my text books and note books but I leave them on my bed I head down stairs, I take a deep breath and head down stairs to see the table all laid out and mom and Spencer are already siting down but no sign of dad.  
" I thought dad was coming home for dinner?" I questioned as I glanced round the room in case I missed him.  
" he is on his way, why don't you come and sit down" I hesitate for a split second before I walk over to the table, taking a seat next to Spencer who smiled and smiled back.  
We start tucking in to the salad and slices of chicken breast in when dad walks in looking exhausted " sorry I'm late, the meeting ran long and then the traffic back into rosewood" mom smiles at dad " that's okay we've only just started come and sit down" she says patting to the empty seat next to her.  
I am thankful for dads entrance I am able to stuff the small amount of pieces of chicken that I had eaten into a napkin that I have hidden in my skinny jean pocket.   
Dad takes a seat next to mom and gives her a small kiss on the cheek " this looks great" he says digging in.  
" how was your day Spence? I hope field hockey practice wasn't too hard?" Spencer shook her head and cleared her throat " no it was good actually I feel I am improving, you should come to my next hockey game to witness my improvement?" Dad nods " tell me when and where?" Spencer smiles " of course dad" I just watch in amazement as no one asks me about my day yet, hello I am here too I want to scream.  
" lolly pops, I hope you've been studying for your big Spanish test and what was it advance Chemistry on Monday?" I am stunned all dad wants to talk all about is wether I am studying for some damn test instead of a simple how am I doing today.   
" I have been studying a lot and I know I am going to an A+ as always" I say as matter of factory.  
" I wouldn't get your hopes up yet, you have promised us an A+ before and you came home with a B which is not except able in this house hold you understand" dad snaps.  
" I know and I promise I will get my A+" I say feeling useless so maybe after all if I loose weight and change I will get accepted in my own family and I can try for a sport like my sisters Spencer and Melissa has ..I could try tennis or swimming or something to make my father proud but on the other hand what's the point maybe A was right I am a loser after all!.  
" how was work today?" Dad asked mom breaking the uncomfortable silence between us Hastings.  
I guess dad has finished talking me.  
" it was alright just the joys of being a lawyer"mom laughed.  
dad chuckles " you got that right" mom and dad chat among themselves which left me and Spencer sitting in silence until Spencer's phone buzzed and she grabbed her phone immediately.  
I glance round the table seeing that no one even noticed that I had not eaten one piece of chicken or salad so once again I was invisible and maybe A was right after all I am a ugly fat loser so, after all loser lolly really does fit doesn't it?


	5. Chapter 5

I clutch my stomach as another hunger pain strikes through. I have hardly eaten in almost a week, whenever Mom gave Me anything to eat I would wait till everyone wasn't not looking and I would put it in a bit of tissue I had tucked under my sleeve and then just chuck it away. Mom or Dad have not noticed a thing so I have managed so far but after missing meals the last week I began to feel so dizzy and my stomach was now killing me.

I sat on my bed in my room crouched into a ball while Alison,Aria, Hanna, Emily and my sister,were all sitting in the living room. I could hear them talking but not clearly and the room was now beginning to spin round. I felt like I was going to be sick but I just couldn't because there was nothing in my empty stomach. I just couldn't take the hunger any more so,I decide to brave it and head down stairs in to the kitchen so I could have an apple or something like that, there can't be too many calories in that I thought to myself so, I got up of the bed with my head still dizzy, I bashed into the draws almost as soon as I get up. I held on to the wall to steady myself and I stood like this for 5 minutes taking deep breaths. I heard footsteps coming towards my room so I tried to steady herself and look as normal as I could.

Mom poked head round the door "Lolly are you okay sweetie? I heard a bang coming from in here," Mom says looking me up and down for any sign of injury.

"Yeah, I'm fine just bashed into the draws" I replied trying to look normal whilst the room continued to spinning.

"Okay, well do you want to go and sit with your sister and her friends sweetie?" I decide it will be better for the hunger pains if I was distracted from it rather than concentrating on that instead.

"Yeah, sure I'm just going get an apple" I just about muster as I walked past Mom who watched me closely seeing there was something different about me.

I made it to the kitchen without passing out so, far so good. I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl.

" you not going to bother to say Hi!! Rude much?" I hear Alison blurt out.

" sorry....Hi everyone" I say and walk towards the living room and sit down next to Aria who smiled.

"Hey Aria" I say trying to focus on one Aria instead of this horrible double vision I was getting.

"Hey, are you all right Lolly? You seem weird" spencer says eyeing her little sister.

"I'm Okay, same as always I guess" I manage to say taking a small bite from the apple as the world continues to spin.

" everything alright girls?" I hear mom say as she walked into the room placing the back of her hand on my clammy forehead with beads of sweat dripping of me.

" are you okay sweetie? You feel rather warm" mom says taking her hand of my forehead to look at me.  
" you do look rather sweaty, are you sure you're okay?" Hanna blurts out

"Oh, yeah just a bit dizzy" I say calmly trying to downplay the situation

"Well that's not a good sign," Mom says frowning at me.

"What have you eaten today?" Mom asks looking straight at Me.

"Oh you know just....." I don't get to finish the sentence as spots begin to appear in my already poor vision before everything fades to black.

A few minutes later I slowly open my eyes and try to adjust to the light , I see that I was in the living room and I was laying down on the sofa with a cold compress on my forehead.

"oh my god what just happened?" I hear Alison's harsh voice

"is she going to be okay?" I hear Aria say softly.

"Hey you're a wake, how do you feel?," Spencer says cheerfully

"I Feel a bit better at least the dizziness has gone...Why am I laying down?" I asked feeling rather puzzled.

"You fainted And totally freaked us out" Alison snaps 

"Alison.." Snapped Aria

" what? She did" Alison shrugs

"I... fainted...?" I mumble softly and Emily nodded.

"Where's mom? Is she mad at me?" I begin to panic

"Moms just on the phone to work and she phoned dad at work too. I think she's upset that you didn't tell her the truth" Spencer shrugged sounding not too sure.

"What's been going on Lolly? You have been acting so strange and don't think I haven't noticed that you don't eat anything or when you think no one is looking you chuck your dinner away" I couldn't make eye contact with my sister after realising she's been watching me after all.  
I glance at Alison who gives me a ' don't you dare tell on me' kind of face so, I bite my lip nervously.

"Nothing is going on... I'm just not hungry at the moment that's all and I don't want to hurt moms feelings," I said as convincing as I could hoping Spencer and well everyone believed it. taking one final glance at Alison who now had a small smirk played upon her lips I knew she was pleased at what she has reduce me to.

"Actually Can we just drop it , I don't want to talk about it to be honest and anyway it's no ones business" I said firmly turning way from Spencer's glare. I know that glare and it's the famous Hastings ' how dare you steal my spotlight' kind of glare.

Mom walked back into the room to see that I was now awake. She walked over to Me and took the cold compress off to be replaced by her hand checking My forehead, which seemed to have cooled down.

" girls do you think could you give us a minute" They all slowly nod and slowly back out of the room leaving Me and Mom alone.

"You gave me and the girls such a fright, what the hell is going on Lauren and don't tell me anymore lies young lady" mom used her stern lawyer voice which meant she was serious.

I was now racking my brain for the best lie I could think of and this was the best "I... have just been having trouble at school with those girls I told you about and well I haven't been hungry the last couple of days that's all so, can we just drop it please mum" I pleaded.

Mom knew I was still lying when I heard her sigh "Fine, we will leave it at that but if anything happens again like that then will be going straight to hospital understood" I nod and mom placed a kiss on the top of my head removing any loose strands of hair from my face.

"Try and get some sleep sweetheart, I will be working from home today so, I'll be in the kitchen if you need me alright" mom checked on me once more before she headed into the kitchen to work.

"Mom I'm fine honestly stop fussing, maybe you should have been a nurse" I say chuckling knowing full well mom was destined to be a lawyer.

"You get some rest" Mom had just started her paper work and I hand now drifted in to a deep sleep unaware I accidentally mumbled "I love you mum, I'm sorry If I scared you....I didn't mean to" Veronica smiled and mumbled "I love you too sweetie" and I subconsciously smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

I slowly wake up glancing round the room to see that I am still in the living room and it is 5:30 in the afternoon. I slowly sit up to see mom sitting at the island in the kitchen " hey sleepyhead do you feel any better sweetheart?" Mom says smiling at me.  
" yeah I feel a bit better I guess" I shrug but the truth is I don't and my stomach is painful and won't stop churning and rumbling and my vision is still blurry.  
" good, how about I start dinner?" I dry swallow at the thought of anything passing my lips.  
" that sounds great...do you want some help?" I ask hoping it would take my mind of the pain in my stomach.  
" you rest sweetheart" I smile and nod to say that I understood " well if your sure" I say snuggling down on the couch.

half an hour later mom was busy repairing dinner when I hard the front door open and close and seconds later dad walked into the kitchen dumping his brief case on the island and over to mom kissing her lightly on the lips before he walked over to me and squeezes next to me " hey lolly pops Mom told me your not very well, how you feeling kid?" Dad says looking at me.  
" I'm feeling much better now, thanks dad" I force a smile.  
" good, I hate to see my girls ill " Just when I think I can keep this up I get strong stomach pains and I double over and A single tear slips down my cheek.   
" what's wrong princess?" Dad asks concerned.  
" everything alright sweetheart?" Mom asks as she walks over and sits down the other side of me.  
" my stomach hurts that's all" the back door opens and in walks my sister on her own thank goodness.  
" it's more than that isn't it Lolly..." I glare at her  "I don't know what your talking about" I say still glaring at my sister.  
" what on earth are you talking about Spencer?" Mom says looking rather puzzled.  
" pfft... Please I was listening at the door...go on are you going to tell them or shall I?" my stupid sister gestures to our rather confused parents.  
" tell us what?" Dad says looking from me then to Spencer.  
" just shut up Spencer! I haven't got any idea what she is talking about" I say with pleading eyes as I look at my sister who sighs.  
" fine whatever forget I said anything" my sister says bitterly.  
" no this is not over now one of you will tell me what is going on right now" mom demands.  
" nothing's going on... just ignore Spencer she's just stirring things like always" I say getting up off the couch.  
" I'm sorry mom but, I've just lost my appetite" I walk slowly over towards the stairs.  
" oh really? That's funny that's been happening a lot lately" My sisters says  folding her arms across her chest.  
" will you just shut up spence ! anyway....whatever I'm going upstairs to lay down" Spencer smirks at me " are you sure your not going to do something else?" I am getting annoyed with my sister now and if she says one more thing I swear I will loose it.  
" girls I have no Idea what you are going on about  but,whatever it is sort it out" dad says shaking his head.  
I head upstairs and straight into my room slamming the door behind me and I lean against my door and just slowly sink to the floor and sob.  
My phone bleeps telling me I have a message but, I hesitate for a second before I get up off the floor and grab my phone that was on my bed along with my home work books.  
I open the message and I am taken back its that number again.

loser lolly, still fat I see...Mommy and daddy have no idea that their fat little Hasting is lying to them....do they? Starving are we? Well it isn't working you're still as fat as ever, it's not just you lying your scales are also lying to you too loser lolly you better decide which lie or shall I say scale you want to work on first and let's hope you pick the right one...kisses A

I let out a little sob out my throat and just stare at the text over and over again. I walk over to my vanity mirror and glance at my reflection and that's when the voices appear.

Fat. Fat always fat. Too fat. No wonder no one will ever like you. Who would want a fatty like you? No one would. Look at your thighs. Where's the gap you've been trying so hard for?look at your stomach. Is that what you call flat? Where's your collarbone?maybe you don't have one because I sure can't find it. Ha! Let's face it you'll never be good enough and you certainly won't be anything like Alison or your sister. No wonder you have no friends when you don't fit in! Your body type is all wrong let's face it your wrong in every way possible. Let's face it people will only except you if your skinny!no wonder your parents don't want to have anything to-

"STOP!" I yelled at my reflection 

You don't like it because you only know it's the truth and the truth hurts doesn't it fatty! 

My dark brown eyes whizzed across my body, picking out every tiny flaw that the voices were talking about. You have been starving yourself but not enough. You clearly haven't done enough. Just look at you. My gaze returned to the girl in the mirror. Her pale skin was dripping in sweat from the words she just uttered to her. The girls chocolate brown hair clung to her skin desperately, as if it was willing itself to not let go even though it slowly was losing its battle. Her brown eyes were large and hollow, as were her cheeks slightly.The petite girls ribs could be seen sticking out slightly but not enough. That girl isn't me .I don't look like that.

Yes you do. Do you see how disgusting you are? Your a loser lolly Hastings 

" SHUT UP" I screamed closing my eyes, placing my hands over my ears trying to block the voices out.

I WON'T STOP UNTIL YOU FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED.

Tears prickled my eyes but I wouldn't let them fall, I won't give the voices the satisfaction of letting them see me cry.


	7. Chapter 7

"Lolly, Do I have to ask you again to get ready for school?" Mom called up the stairs. School that was the word I now dreaded the most knowing that "they would be there" and they would haunt my dreams so nowhere was safe from the living nightmare I lived Monday-Sunday .I lay in bed staring at the ceiling dreading school. 

"Lolly, are you up yet?" Mom called again hearing My sisters foot steps.

I unwillingly got up threw back my covers and decided to make my bed. I rushed down stairs and into the open planned kitchen where mom, dad and Spencer sat at the table eating their breakfast.

"Morning sweetie"  mom said smiling at me and I gave a weak smile back.

"Morning princess" Dad said brightly

"Morning dad" I said weakly

"Hey Spence" I say to my sister who still isn't really talking to me but what's new? 

"Lolly" Spencer said falsely.

I  sit down next to Spencer and started eating my cereal but after 2 bites I started playing with my food and this didn't go unnoticed by Spencer or Even mom and Dad this time who shared a glance at each other.

"Lolly eat your breakfast sweetie instead of playing with it" Mom said gesturing to my bowl of uneaten cereal.

"Everything alright Princess you seem a bit off today" Dad said taking a bit of his cereal.

"I'm just nervous about...my Spanish and Chemistry test today when I know I have got it covered" Another lie rolls of my tongue and I never was nervous about The tests as they are one of my many best subjects.

"Oh I'm sure you will do just fine sweetheart, but please try to eat some more breakfast please" mom encouraged  and I just nodded and took a spoonful of Cereal and forced myself to eat more to please my rather pushy parents.

Once I had eaten what I  could force myself, I had a quick shower and changed into a pleated tartan skirt and a white shirt with a black tie sort of thing and flat black shoes and I choose to wear black tights and a navy blue blazer . Once I was dressed I brushed my long dark brown hair which was straight which I guess I got from mom. I looked at myself in the mirror.

"I look like such a fat ugly geek, no wonder they all hate me" I whispered to herself. A few tears slipped down my cheeks but I quickly brushed them away.

"Lolly? Are you ready love?" I smiled hearing her mother's voice. I loved my mom very much and loved to spend time with her and so many times I longed to tell mom about my secret that I was being bullied at school but I couldn't break my  mother's heart or ruin her impression of me as her perfect daughter  so I chose to keep it quiet.

"Coming mum" I called out. I grabbed my school bag and rushed down stairs where mom and Spencer were waiting for me. Dad was sitting on the couch reading the paper as it was his day off.  
" good luck today lolly pops and remember you need to get that A+" dad said looking over his paper raising his eyebrows at me.  
" I won't I promise" I say forcing a smile.

We pulled up outside the school and stepped out of the car. 

"Bye sweetheart, good luck today and remember A+ and I will seeing after school" Mom said before Spencer rushed off to her friends who stood waiting outside by the steps.  
" bye I will see you later" I say shutting the car door and headed towards the school entrance , I glance behind me to see mom still sitting watching so, I walk over towards The school entrance only to stop seeing Spencer and her group of friends walking towards me with bright and friendly smiles.

"Lolly" Alison squealed and rushed up to me which clearly was for appearances sake more than anything. Alison hugged me but whispered "morning fatty" I tried to pull away but She had a firm grip on me . I saw Mom smile seeing Alison hugging me thinking we were clearly friends Which I knew mom thought was true so she drove off happy but little did she know that when the car turned the corner Alison shoved me sending me flying. I landed hard onto my behind which now began to throb.

"Ha-ha that's just to our way of saying morning to you but that's just for starters you wait until later fatty" Alison said walking away with a stunned Aria, horrified Emilly and Hanna and my shocked sister as they walked closely behind leaving me on the ground. I got up out off the floor with tears slipping down my cheeks as I dusted off my behind  and walked past people pointing and laughing with their friends who snigger and smirked at me. I rushed into the girls toilets and tried my best to wash the small mud patches off my freshly clean on clothes.   
I looked at my appearance in the mirror only to see a vision of my of my former happy self. I looked fat,ugly and well geeky in my clothes that I used to love but now hate.  
The pain in my behind and back was now so painful I knew I needed to go to the school nurse for painkillers but I knew that the nurse would phone mom or dad and I couldn't let that happen so I chose to rather put up with the pain than my parents coming to the school which would make the situation worse. I was busy wiping down my uniform when I heard that laugh I knew all too well so I rushed into a cubical with my bag and locked the door and quietly climbed on to the toilet seat so her feet weren't seen.

"Ha-ha did you see me push Loser Lolly?" Alison asked one of her army of followers.

"Yeah I did" I recognise that voice it's Emily and I can tell she wasn't impressed at all but had to go along with what Alison wanted.

"She was crying she was actually crying what a looser. Such a big baby. I can't believe that loser lolly is your sister Spence I really can't  " Alison chuckles. I'm stood on the toilet with my hand over my mouth muffling my sobs as I listen to this.

I stayed where I was to make sure that they had gone before she came out of her hiding place and looked round the toilets to make sure they had gone when I walked out of the cubical and looked at myself in the mirror. I ran my hand over my stomach feeling a slight bump instead of dead flat. I stood to the side and looked at my stomach from the side and again I saw a small bump.  
The door to the restroom opened and in walked Mona who eyed me studying myself in the mirror.  
" I'm sorry for what happened earlier I saw Alison push you, are you okay?" Mona said looking at me sympathetically.  
" thanks, I'm okay" I say quietly.  
" you know she's not going to stop unless someone stops her" Mona said applying a layer of lip gloss.

"Do your parents know?" I shook my head.

"My parents don't know about any of this and I want to keep it that way" I say shrugging. We stand in a uncomfortable silence for a few minutes.The bell rang to say that it was start of first lesson so I grabbed bag and slung it over my shoulder, I smile at Mona and leave the restroom and head to my locker.

 

I stopped at my locker and grabbed my English book. I hung my bag up into my locker when someone shoved Me hard against my locker which hurt me even more and I could feel the bruises starting to form on my already tender back. Alison laughed as she looked back at her handy work with a crowd of people laughing and pointing and taking photo's on their phones.

"Hey look at loser Lolly" one of them said out loud making them all laugh.

"Hey just leave her alone, what has she done to you?" Mona said rather loudly and now regretting it as Alison came storming over to Mona.

"Oh look Loser Lolly has 1 friend, how cute it's loser Mona " Alison spat

"Guy's I feel bad, I think we should help her" Aria said softly and Alison just laughed.

"That was so funny Aria ; I really thought you meant it then" Alison said still laughing not realising Aria did really mean it.

"Come let's go" Alison said walking away, only to turn back to see they were following her " Ermm... guys are you coming?" Alison said raising her eyebrow.

"Lolly are you alright?" Mona said bending down picking up my English book and handed it to me.

I take the book from Mona as she held it out to me "You didn't need to do that, I can look after myself" Lolly said slamming her lock shut and leaving a confused Mona behind.

( sorry this isn't my best chapter, I want to thank you all for reading and voting for this story so far! You guys are the best seriously it's keeping me going. Pretty Please can you comment your thoughts so far so I know I am doing okay so far)


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